New Yorkers are not the judgy type – you could pretty much go out naked in the blizzard currently happening and people wouldn’t even turn their heads – but like everyone else, they have their limits. As a foreigner in the City, I’ve realized that some things are just tabou here.
Thankfully, I can always play the French card: “but, you know where I AM from…” and get out of most situations without being considered a social pariah. To save you from any embarrassment, I compiled a few things that you should never say out loud to a New Yorker unless you are prepared for some major shade throwing:
#1 “I never had a pumpkin spice latte”
Mostly because I’d rather sleep in the morning than wait 20 min on line at Starbucks. Oh and also the ingredients it gives people cancer. Yep, that too.
#2 “I don’t do Instagram”
“But…but…where do you post your pumpkin spice latte pictures?!”
#3 “Fuck Yoga and Soul Cycle!”
No, I don’t enjoy cycling to Taylor Swift’s album nor opening my Chakras to complete strangers.
#4 “Apple picking? No thanks.”
Because being THAT excited about apples, trees or nature in general is a little sad. Although one more year in the concrete jungle and I probably be that person.
#5 “Screw The Hamptons”
Paying the price of an international trip to spend the weekend with the SAME people I see all year and swim in questionable water? Seriously…why?!
#6 “If you can’t walk two blocks in heels, just wear flats”
But please don’t walk to work in sneakers and then change to heels…pick a damn side!
#7 “I love carbs”
It’s fine to be on a diet every once in a while – but don’t pretend you don’t LOVE carbs and that you are not depriving yourself of something truly amazing.
#8 “I don’t have a credit card”
I pay bills and buy stuff with real money that I earn, not the bank’s. Shocking.
#9 “I hate the gym”
I totally understand the reasoning behind people going everyday – but don’t try to make me believe that you enjoy it or that it’s some sort of therapy. I hate it, you hate it, everybody hates it.
#10 “I’m not on the list”
No one is on the list because there is no list. Just be creative and you will get anywhere!